The ultimate dad joke compilation
Vine by tia valentine
One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.
I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it.
THIS FUCKED ME UP
Now this is one of my favorite quotes from tfios. None of that ‘okay’ shit. This just shows the pure and raw pain that hazel was feeling.
i have a soft tummy and acne scars and my voice is not always low and sweet and my clothes are not always well-coordinated or even clean and my lipstick smears and my eyeliner runs and i still get overwhelmed and disappointed sometimes. but some nights i feel lovely and happy and as if, maybe, i’m getting the hang of this whole existence thing, and i’ve begun to realize i have time to get the hang of all this, and i don’t need to be perfect. i just need to be.
this is the story of how I died. don’t worry, this is actually a very fun story and the truth is, it isn’t even mine. this is the story of a girl named rapunzel.
important photoset of dogs in blankets
i aM FUCKING HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER
"at my school the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4"